We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
