I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
