I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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