real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I would ride that face into the sunset
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
