This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
