dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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