ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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