Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum

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  (647): I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum http://tfl.nu/wnzc
  Replies (32) Good night (688) Bad night (3979)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.

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  (619): Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames. http://tfl.nu/itz7
  Replies (12) Good night (4476) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd give my left nut to see you

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't do that. I like the set

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  (724): I'd give my left nut to see you (609): don't do that. I like the set http://tfl.nu/41nb
  Replies (12) Good night (9793) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

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  (248): My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend. http://tfl.nu/02a8
  Replies (23) Good night (8015) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  (954): my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch http://tfl.nu/nq1q
  Replies (12) Good night (3082) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (2906)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything

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  (715): She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/4a6c
  Replies (15) Good night (2896) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.

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  (216): I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession. http://tfl.nu/2xsf
  Replies (7) Good night (1968) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.

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  (913): Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry. http://tfl.nu/57v9
  Replies (3) Good night (2590) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?

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  (715): I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME? http://tfl.nu/q3mm
  Replies (12) Good night (2154) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless

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  (754): Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless http://tfl.nu/pgaf
  Replies (13) Good night (1285) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

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  (785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0
  Replies (18) Good night (2068) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like 10 times better than an Oscar

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  (256): I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award. (256): It's like 10 times better than an Oscar http://tfl.nu/pcc6
  Replies (7) Good night (579) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning

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  (949): Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning http://tfl.nu/fj52
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?

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  (432): Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"? http://tfl.nu/bsum
  Replies (10) Good night (289) Bad night (616)

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