Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

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(360): View more from Washington

I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
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(660): View more from Missouri

He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.

(816): View more from Missouri

Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...

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(770): View more from Georgia

Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...

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(513): View more from Ohio

Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Why is there puke in my guitar?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Because you puked in your guitar.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again

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