Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?

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(513): I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious? http://tfl.nu/32zi

Replies (9) Good night (899) Bad night (1421)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".

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(636): Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional". http://tfl.nu/cis7

Replies (10) Good night (4491) Bad night (805)
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(802): View more from Vermont

his penis is PERFECT

(802): View more from Vermont

I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

(802): View more from Vermont

or knit it little hat

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(802): his penis is PERFECT (802): I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm (802): or knit it little hat http://tfl.nu/4cuj

Replies (37) Good night (10088) Bad night (1560)
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(219): View more from Indiana

surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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(219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3

Replies (9) Good night (3351) Bad night (1160)
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(240): View more from Maryland

my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.

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(240): my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight. http://tfl.nu/cb14

Replies (2) Good night (3494) Bad night (917)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame

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(952): and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame http://tfl.nu/7sdj

Replies (4) Good night (2128) Bad night (723)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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(519): I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI. http://tfl.nu/5z2o

Replies (6) Good night (2018) Bad night (761)
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(917): View more from New York City

hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.

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(917): hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog. http://tfl.nu/99w0

Replies (9) Good night (2055) Bad night (755)
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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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(214): Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable... http://tfl.nu/uugd

Replies (3) Good night (1358) Bad night (912)
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(214): View more from Texas

This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday

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(214): This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday http://tfl.nu/yy5w

Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (479)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I have major gossip for you.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh no, did you have sex last night?

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.

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(570): I have major gossip for you. (1-570): Oh no, did you have sex last night? (570): If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited. http://tfl.nu/1upd

Replies (8) Good night (1552) Bad night (577)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"

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(304): He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance" http://tfl.nu/4970

Replies (0) Good night (636) Bad night (537)
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(914): View more from New York

Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo

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(914): Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo http://tfl.nu/y87c

Replies (6) Good night (414) Bad night (720)
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(425): View more from Washington

I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"

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(425): I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours" http://tfl.nu/sls8

Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (339)
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(786): View more from Florida

I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.

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(786): I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad. http://tfl.nu/o6u0

Replies (0) Good night (166) Bad night (215)

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