Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry about my life...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
