Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

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  (651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg
  Replies (19) Good night (4073) Bad night (1343)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

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  (315): He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender http://tfl.nu/9vxe
  Replies (23) Good night (1998) Bad night (4688)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

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  (484): I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits. http://tfl.nu/dr6q
  Replies (20) Good night (3664) Bad night (1011)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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  (440): Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies. http://tfl.nu/iuff
  Replies (14) Good night (2370) Bad night (1900)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

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  (740): Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe? http://tfl.nu/3oc2
  Replies (10) Good night (2437) Bad night (898)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How was the rest of your night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  A little fuzzy and a lot naked.

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  (646): How was the rest of your night? (917): A little fuzzy and a lot naked. http://tfl.nu/r63c
  Replies (7) Good night (2339) Bad night (643)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!

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  (815): I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!! http://tfl.nu/xnab
  Replies (20) Good night (1110) Bad night (641)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea

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  (920): He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea http://tfl.nu/pad4
  Replies (2) Good night (375) Bad night (675)
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  (714): View more from California

  I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.

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  (714): I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5. http://tfl.nu/iwbe
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (768)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.

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  (503): jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons. http://tfl.nu/trxl
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (415)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.

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  (712): I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple. http://tfl.nu/5d4d
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (583)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so

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  (816): Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so http://tfl.nu/0hmc
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (287)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate

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  (306): yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate http://tfl.nu/3igr
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (321)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.

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  (303): Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion. http://tfl.nu/tcgp
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (279)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so

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  (847): this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so http://tfl.nu/o2zv
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (405)

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