You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
