I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
