This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize