everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
