dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize