I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
