i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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