I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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