i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
