Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
