I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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