Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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