I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
