It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My vagina is very pro this idea
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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