That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
