So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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