She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
