He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
