Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
