Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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