just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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