Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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