The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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