i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
