when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
