We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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