You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
