Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
