I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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