Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
