why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My penis needs a shock collar
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
