I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
