My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
