I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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