Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
