If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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