Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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