Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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