i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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