he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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