I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
