she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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