So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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