Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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