I'm drive I can fine osifer
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
