I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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