Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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