can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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