Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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