Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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