Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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