Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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