Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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