ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize