So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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