The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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