Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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