I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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