It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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