i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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