Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
